Finding Comfort and Connection After Pregnancy or Infant Loss

Losing a baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth is a heartbreaking experience that can leave families feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and unsure where to turn. No words or gestures can take away that grief, but compassionate support can make a meaningful difference.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, an opportunity to acknowledge families who have experienced loss, raise awareness of the support available, and encourage more open conversations about grief.

“Grief is something that is different for every single person,” says Sam Krugle, MSN, RNC-OB, C-EFM, clinical practice leader for Labor and Delivery and High-Risk Antenatal at Thomas Jefferson University Hospital. “Regardless of when you lose a baby, whether it's early in pregnancy or after the baby’s born, that grief can really stay with you for the rest of your life.”

At Thomas Jefferson University Hospital, Krugle established a multidisciplinary perinatal bereavement committee that brings together nurses, physicians, and social workers to improve care for families experiencing loss. “We really wanted to make sure what we provided families was unique to their situation, families' beliefs, cultural needs, and the way they process grief,” Krugle says.

For Melissa Smith, MSN, RNC-OB, manager of Nursing and Patient Care Services at Lehigh Valley Hospital–Pocono’s Family Birth and Newborn Center, compassionate care starts with trust. Nurses help parents understand what to expect, navigate difficult decisions, and identify opportunities to create meaningful memories with their baby.

For families experiencing pregnancy or infant loss, the time they have with their baby may be heartbreakingly brief. Jefferson Health care teams help parents make the most of those moments through personalized remembrance opportunities.

At Jefferson, nurses create individualized shadow boxes featuring photographs, footprints, and colors or themes selected by the family. Parents may also receive pendants featuring their baby’s footprints, creating a keepsake that is uniquely theirs.

Families can choose to have professional photographs taken, spend time holding their baby, or include loved ones in remembrance activities. “Those parenting moments can feel really special to families because the time in the hospital is their only opportunity to parent their baby,” Krugle says.

Cooling bassinets allow families to spend more time with their baby after a loss. They’re specially designed with cooling technology to help preserve the baby’s body, letting parents keep their baby nearby and giving extended family time to visit.

Another important resource for grieving families comes from the Adalyn Rose Foundation, a nonprofit that supports families after pregnancy and infant loss. The foundation’s Adalyn Rose Remembrance Cart, available at Jefferson Health hospitals, provides items to help families honor their baby. “Parents are faced with meeting their baby for the very first time, and then at the same time they’re saying goodbye,” Smith says. “What we do at the hospital is really try to provide families with something tangible that they can remember their baby with.”

The carts include items such as:

• Keepsakes: Teddy bears, wooden hearts, and personalized bead bracelets 
• Clothing and blankets: Soft, appropriately sized items to dress and wrap their baby
• Books: Stories parents can read to their baby, along with resources to help siblings and grandparents understand and process loss
• Grief resources: Educational materials and information about available support services

For families experiencing an early pregnancy loss, remembrance bags with keepsakes and reading materials are available, even when photographs or footprints aren’t possible.

The Adalyn Rose Foundation also connects families with grief support, mental health resources, and other parents who have experienced similar losses. These services can bridge hospital care and ongoing support at home.

Friends and family members often want to help but may struggle to find the right words. Both Smith and Krugle emphasize that simply showing up and acknowledging the loss can mean more than trying to say something perfect.

“I think being present is most important,” Krugle says. “Just being there, being someone who is willing to listen, that in and of itself means so much when you’ve gone through an experience like this.”

Other meaningful ways to offer support include acknowledging the baby by name when appropriate, helping with meals or everyday responsibilities, and offering assistance with difficult logistical decisions. Avoid minimizing the loss with comments such as “you can try again” or “at least you have other children.” Every baby and every loss matters.

Most importantly, don’t assume that grief follows a timeline. Continue checking in with loved ones in the weeks, months, and years that follow. Knowing they are not alone can be a powerful source of comfort.

If you or someone you love has experienced pregnancy or infant loss, support is available. Jefferson Health care teams can connect families with bereavement resources, grief support, and mental health services, both in the hospital and after returning home. 

As Krugle reminds families, “It’s OK to not be OK.”